Last Night…

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Have you ever read a book with something else playing on your mind ? And then you realize you’ve finished the whole book but don’t remember anything you read?

Last night my mind was playing hide and seek. While I was trying to hide away my thoughts, my mind kept seeking them. I tried to distract my mind, lead it to another direction but it kept coming back to the same thought. As it captured one thought, it would go look for the other.

Last night I felt like my mind was on a merry go round. Spinning so fast, that I could feel my heart beat fall and blood pressure rise. There were a zillion thoughts rushing as though on ecstasy and pumping out adrenaline.

Last night I felt like my mind was jumping on a trampoline of thoughts. I wish I could just squash and crush some out and make it lighter. It was like a spring in my head bouncing around.

Last night I felt like my mind was playing laser tag. Where people who spoke were killed thrice. I could shoot them all. It was such great feeling to able to create silence amidst the humdrum. Once you re dead you re dead and out. Wish real life could be like that, where your eyes are always on the target and there is no coming back….no looking back.

Last night my mind was doing kung fu, fighting my heart. While each thought was being kicked and punched, there was no absolute winner. Both bruised yet not ready to give up. I was stuck amidst the chaos within my myself.

Last night I tried to find a way to find a solution. I tried every possible way to tug each thought and fight it all out. But in the end I figured hiding, swinging, jumping, shooting, fighting wasn’t the solution. It was all just a way to confuse even further, while the solution lied beneath. All I had to do was be calm… close my eyes and think once. At first all the thoughts came flashing back like a recap and suddenly it was all dark, they had all vanished away. Only one remained, that thinking was not the solution.

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TV’s Best Love Confessions

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Love is funny, cute, annoying, trivial, endearing, heavy yet vital. We experience different stages and shades of love through our lifetime. Sometimes it seems difficult to unveil the true feelings that are buried deep inside, but sharing those feelings with the right person is a crucial part of being in love.

This video is for all those in different phases of love, don’t think hard just go with the flow and say it if it feels right. Trust your instincts or they will go away.

The Warning Sign

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I want to break the silence within me

Collecting words inside

Feeding my soul but it’s never enough

How can I let go of the emptiness that still remains.

 

I imagine a time that is yet to come

When I lie beside myself

It’s hard to think beyond the smoke

That encapsulates me in it.

 

There is a fire burning in my head

My heart filled with ashes of the remains

The stomach is crunching, making sounds to let go

While the feet just go with the flow.

 

It’s a warning sign which I never seem to understand

Annoying me so much I can’t think straight

Everywhere I go I wait for a moment that might change things

But  end up nowhere or the same state as always.

 

I lie between me and myself

A window opens up inside

The lines are clear, it’s either left or right

What if I want to go back or front and not be the one to pretend?

 

Where did I go wrong? Where did I turn?

I am standing still but still lost somewhere

How do I figure what I need? What is it that I want?

When life is drifting away to a place I don’t want to see.

Tonight

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The star falls down

The smoke fills the sky

I look around for hope

Everything is blur

 

Sun and moon turn around

Confusion in the presence

I feel the force of nature

Everything is tense

 

The grass is green

the blades red

I see the colours of life

Everything is plain

 

Shadows dance tonight

The song is not known

I move along to please the mind

Everything is ablaze

 

When calm winds float

Rushing and gushing

I know the war has begun

Everything else a lie

 

Air is more than breath

Each moment waiting to end

I hear the call

Everything is on hold

 

There is a tinkle in the sky

It’s the stars crying aloud

I am still in silence

Everything is transient

 

Fly me home

Not where I belong

I hover over my soul

Everything is alight

Mind Your Doubt

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I wish I had a recorder in my head to record my thoughts so that they don’t vanish. But then I wonder how does the music playing sing out my thoughts? How sometimes a person so close speaks my mind out before me? My thought process tunes to the pace of the song. The person talking makes my mind doubt.

As I drive through this city of blinding lights, observing each person twice and pace of the song slow, I wish I could capture the images, picture perfect to paint. My eyes my camera, but the thought later vanishes away leaving my mind in doubt.

As each drop of rain tips on me with calm winds combing my hair, I wish my head wouldn’t work at such a fast shutter speed. Because as I hit back to reality, the rush goes away, making me feel drowned in doubt.

Although my mind sends quick reactions to bilge and and traces every invisible action, I wish I could race through these senses. It gives me shivers, even hot chocolate making me cold and my mind still lingers with doubt.

The world is a viscous circle made of each others thoughts, where mankind imitates art and original art life. So as I sit here imitating my life, I appreciate that at least my writing archives my thoughts striking each doubt of my mind out.

The Wait

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As I wait for the moment

Each one takes a leap forward

There is stillness in the air

It is like never before, as always.

My head is running at a speed of 100 questions a minute

While my heart just skipoped a beat

When will the calm winds blow through the soul?

When will the jitters blow away the restlessness?

Keeping myself occupied with thoughts

Will I go blank when the moment arrives?

One by one I wash them away

By putting them down on paper as I wait

Now drenched in confusion

I look around at faces all pale

All lips talk the same with impatience like red lipstick they stay

Last few breaths till the moment arrives

Clasping my hands I say it’s going to be alright.